Breaking News from the Players and their Agents
Cork Bowl 15

October 24th - Patrick Cork Predicting Another Win
November 1st - Tomlinson Backs Up MVP Prediction
November 3rd - Greg Howard Adds to MVP Discussion
November 4th - Willy Truitt Speaks Out Against League
November 11th - Greg Howard Rips Into Earwigs
November 17th - Patrick Cork Questions Earwigs Toughness
November 29th - Trimble Has Confidence in Earwig Teammates
November 30th - Truitt Camp Has Harsh Words for Howard
December 1st - Hoalt Pops Off to Trimble
December 2nd - Howard Finds Truitts Laughable
December 6th - Reggie Truitt Responds to Howard
December 7th - Howard Continues Verbal Battle with Truitt
December 8th - Chris Cork Provides Valuable Information on Earwigs

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Patrick Cork Predicting Another Win

October 24th - It doesn't sound too surprising to most, but all of the experts I've heard are picking the Mongeese to run away with this year's Cork Bowl once again. The core of this team is as good as any in Cork Bowl history and Greg is only getting better. The only concern we have is the loss of Garrard and his leadership and experience. That cannot be replaced. However, Jake was a pleasant surprise last year and I think having one year under his belt will make a huge difference this year.

I think Chris is bound for a rebound performance this year. While Wilson was busy guarding him last year, Greg and I were running free all afternoon. I would have to think they would move Wilson onto one of us leaving Chris with a smaller defender on him. Or, they could keep the same defensive scheme and get burned yet again. Either way is fine with me. The only way I see us getting slowed down offensively is if the Old Coach isn't 100% on game day. He's been struggling recently, but hopes to be healthy by December. If he is, I see no reason why the Mongeese can't put 110+ points on the board again.

Best of luck to the Earwax or whatever your name is. We plan on cleaning you out like a pack of Q-tips in a month and a half.

PC

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Tomlinson Backs Up MVP Prediction

November 1st - The story about me was right, I'm feeling very MVPy and with the small guys gaurding me I should have no trouble ting the field. I might even pick up Hoalt's cleats for him after I burn him. With Kirby Newell at the helm almost nothing can go wrong, I mean he is the best looking player on the field. It's a shame that Greg Howard (greghowardsuperfans.com coming soon) has to be on such a sucky team, I mean isn't Chris getting as old as Coach, which is....wait I'm getting out my abacus....nope, I was right, it doesn't go that high. I have no doubt the earwigs will be making the mongees' ear's ring for a long time.

Ryan "domination on the field in CorkBowl 15" Tomlinson

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Greg Howard Adds to MVP Discussion

November 3rd - I don't even know if I need to talk trash this year. It would almost be a waste of time for me to even worry about the other team and what they say since they can't back it up on the field. I would love to see Tomlinson win MVP this year but unfortunately I don't think I've seen anyone win MVP from the losing team. My vote for MVP is going to Chris Cork. I think what Patty said about the defense changing to cover one of the two of us is going to play a huge role in the game. Though last year it was a mudfest and people were falling down all over, I still think that the Earwigs are going to continue to get burnt. Oh yeah, Reggie, I still haven't forgotten about that cheap shot you put on me late in last years game. Better keep your eyes up in the game this year. I got something waiting for ya.

G HOW

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Salty Veteran Sounds Off on League

November 4th -- In the weeks leading up to the 15th Anniversary of Corkbowl, Will Truitt is reminiscing. He sounds as if he has the itch to get back to the legendary days of Corkbowl, but there are also sounds of closure.

In the past Truitt enjoyed the greatest success from the Quarterback position in Corkbowl history. The last few years he has transitioned from QB to WR due to various circumstances. From talking with him you can pinpoint the anxiety in his voice, anxiety over a tough game ahead, and the tough decisions to follow. Truitt himself won’t say he is done after Corkbowl 15, but others believe he is.

“In years past his focus was on winning alone, and now I think his focus is on not getting hurt,” said his mother.

Truitt will admit he is at a crossroads, “I’m struggling with my identity,” he said. “All my Corkbowl life I was a Quarterback, and now I find myself in the wide-receiver position. It takes a different approach mentally and physically, and I’m not sure I’m at the age to make that commitment.”

“We have two great receivers in Brooks Wilson and my brother Reggie, and I don’t know how I fit into that equation. Our Quarterback runs the show and I’m just a piece of the puzzle. I’m used to putting the puzzle together.”

“I found myself second-guessing some decisions last year, not that they were wrong, but it just wasn’t what I would have done in certain situations. You have to know who your go-to guys are, and on third downs you go to them. I made a living off of third-and-longs to Pat Cork, Chris Cork, Reg Truitt, Kirby Newell, and Jeff Henney.”

Without putting words into Truitt’s mouth, it sounds as if he wishes he would of hung it up following Corkbowl 13. He knows no matter what he does in the wide-receiver position, his legacy will always be as a Quarterback. Knowing that, he still has a desire to win, “I’d really like to win this year and then see what happens. I know Reg will come up with a good game plan and hopefully we can keep him healthy. That’s all that really matters anymore.”

As a young Corkbowler, Truitt always put the team first, now the salty veteran is looking out for No. 1. “I took one #@## of a pay cut to go to wide-receiver, and do the team thing, now look at my family. How am I supposed to put food on the table on five million dollars for one days work? It just doesn’t add up.”

What Truitt said next may shock those in the Corkbowl community.

“The odds have definitely been stacked against us this year, Jake Hoalt replacing Garrard is a joke.” Vented Truitt. “Jake can cover a lot of ground and play great defense, Garrard couldn’t do anything last year. It’s hard to get up for a game when you feel like you’ve been beaten already. It’s like I said to Reg, ‘let’s just go out there and go through the motions’. I know that’s not what the fans want to hear, but it’s the truth. We don’t have a chance.

“For the last five years it’s just been the Corks vs. the Truitts, it’s getting stale. Let’s mix it up once in awhile.”

“It’s wearing on me, my brother, everyone. I haven’t heard a peep from Kirby Newell this year, nothing from Greg Howard and ‘The Scoop’ doesn’t even cover us anymore. This is the 15th anniversary and there is no hype. I hear they haven’t even sold all the tickets yet, and the pay-per view subscriptions are terrible. The Corkbowl franchise deserves better.”

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Greg Howard Rips Into Earwigs

November 11th - After reading recent stories posted by some of the regulars (scoop and willy) I've come to the conclusion that the league has gone soft. There is all this talk about getting hurt and retiring. come on! You guys need to saddle up, get back on the horse and be some real men. Look at coach, he's like the Rick Flair of corkbowl. He's older than dirt and should probably retire but he's still out there "WHOOOing" and whatever else that Rick Flair does when he wrestles. So until you are as old and worn out as Randy "macho man" Savage than don't complain and get out there and snap into a slim jim....OH YEAAAHH!

G-How

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Patrick Cork Questions Earwigs Toughness

November 17th - By the deafening silence coming from Earwig Camp, it's pretty obvious that all of Willy's teammates agree with him that they don't stand a chance of winning. I guess all six of them will be "going through the motions" in just 3 short weeks. It doesn't really surprise me. Most of the guys on the Earwigs don't have much competitive drive anyway and half of the team will probably be retiring after this game. If the past few years are any indication, I'm thinking that both Truitts, and possibly Kirby Newell and Brooks Wilson, will be calling it quits about 5 minutes after the game is over. It's a little embarrassing when Tomlinson is the most mentally tough guy on your team. I do appreciate the energy and dedication that these players have given to Cork Bowl over the years. I only wish they would finish their careers strong. I don't want them to win, but I thought they would at least to go down with a fight.

--"I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball" - PC

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Trimble Has Confidence in Earwig Teammates

November 29th - You know, I am actually looking forward to the game. Not because of our dramatic win that we are going to pull off, not because I get to see Greg run around like a little ie man, and not even because of the fact that I will get to see the entire male line of the Cork family start calling each other "dingleberries, varmints, and other names even more perverse than these. What I look forward to is the actual competition between the two teams. I mean let's face it. The Earwigs are the only team with some young legs. The only decent legs the Mongooses have seen lately are those that they ate off the Thanksgiving turkey last week. The only potential weapon that they would possibly be able to utilize would be the glare off of Kevin Ryan's bald head, and that's only if it is sunny. And don't tell me that they have Jake Hoalt. Please.... Jake is getting fat and slow in his college days, and will prove to be absolutely zero help on game day. I think that the reason that my fellow teammates have been so silent recently is because we know that we don't need to talk trash. We simply know how the outcome of the game will be and know that we do not have to stoop to the level of the Mongeese to prove we are simply better than they are.

TRIMBY 5

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Truitt Camp Has Harsh Words for Howard

November 30th - Greg Howard recently spewed some threats to Reggie Truitt, and Truitt is not taking them lightly. Truitt, along with his brother Will are firing back at the XX wide-out.

When reached via telephone, Reggie Truitt had this to say, "Greg can talk all the game he wants. He knows what he did last year and why I laid him out." Said the cagey-veteran. "I'd do it again in the same situation. They had the game won and there was no reason for him to run a deep route. That's classless." Truitt then added, “I made you Greg Howard, and I’ll have further comments later.”

Truitt's younger brother Will backed it up, "pfffttt, Howard is full of himself. He used to play hard and with some decency, but I think those MVP awards went to his head."

"I saw what was happening last year. Greg went deep the play before and I went back to the huddle and told Reg if he did it again to lay him out. When Greg went streaking down the sideline I let him go and looked back and yelled at Reg to give it to him, and Reg did. I was proud of him. That's how we roll."

When team consultant Dave Meggett was contacted about the dispute, he was amused. "I've been with these boys for years. I coached Greg for a few years and thought I taught him better," said the Tuna Consulting Group executive. "He knows the program. If you think you are going to run the score up on a Reg Truitt defense, you're going to go home on a stretcher. He should have known better. It saddens me that one of my prototypes had such bad judgment."

Phone calls to the XX front offices were not returned. Greg Howard was at a expo for the North Indiana Pretty People League of Excellence and Style % S) and was unavailable for comment.

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Hoalt Pops Off to Trimble

December 1st - Trimble seems to be getting a big head in predicting a victory. I dont see how he is see a victory with the team he has! I mean come on they have no muscle after they get a couple of good hits on them they will all break like a bunch of little sticks. He says im getting fat and slow haha we will see about that after I tackle him a few times. I'm going to guarantee a victory for Mongeese this year because the Earwigs are just to weak!!

Hoalt over and out

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Howard Finds Truitts Laughable

December 2nd - I love how the Truitt camp waits so long to finally respond to something. It's funny to me that they try to spin it so that it looks as if i'm the bad guy in the story. I wasn't running deep to try and run up the score on your pathetic team, I was running deep because I wanted to tire Willy out. Reggie got involved in the whole thing and since he was tired after 2 minutes into the 1st quarter, he did the only thing he could do, hit me late. The Truitts can say all they want, Reggie knows what he did. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter why it was done or how it was done, there is going to be a swift and severe response. I'm running deep on you guys all day and you can't do anything to stop me.

G How

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Reggie Truitt Responds to Howard

December 6th - In response to boy wonder Howard. I hope that you learn this life lesson from me next. Something I have taught a few girls in my 5th grade class over the last few years. 'Just shutup and look good for all of those cute boys out there.' Explaining yourself is not making any sense. Hence, trying to tire Willy out late in the game by running deep? What he wasn't tired already? And then you go as far as saying there will be a severe and swift response. Have you been watching Fox News with Chris Cork again? I'll tell you what-I'll give you the first 2 series of the game to respond, after that, get over it. I think the only comment you make that has any sense is about me being tired after 2 minutes. Clever, I'll give that to you. Just think? IF I was in shape-I would really be whipping your sorry arse every year. I hope that the Truitt camp has responded in a timely fashion and the camp is looking forward to Saturday morning. Thanks for the bulletin board material Poster Boy. And don't forget, "I made you Howard."

RT

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Howard Continues Verbal Battle with Truitt

December 7th - Reggie, when you say you made me, is that because you're pethetic play on the field makes me look so good? You know what, on second thought maybe you did make me. you made me the defensive player i am now because that's all i had to focus on when i was on your teams. heck, i barely got a chance on offense since Willy would only throw the ball to you, and why wouldn't he...you were ALWAYS OPEN right?? so for that i thank you. also, just for clarification, did you say that i was cute? i guess i should thank you for that too. i'll be sure to look my best for ya. well i guess this is boy wonder signing off, thanks again wonder woman....?

GHow

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Chris Cork Provides Valuable Information on Earwigs

December 8th - With all the snow, it appears the Earwigs may have some difficulty on Saturday. From my research, Earwigs may dig as deep as six feet below ground to escape the cold temperatures.

Earwigs rarely fly and are unable to crawl long distances, but often hitchhike [in laundry baskets, cut flowers, luggage, newspapers, lumber, baskets of fruits and vegetables, automobiles, etc] - clearly this is a reference applicable to Tomlinson.

After entering houses, they feed on sweet, oily or greasy foods.... - no mention of borrowing money, however.

Earwigs can be trapped outdoors in cardboard boxes baited with oatmeal.

Chris

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